I Know What Love Is

I have read a lot of books and watched a lot of movies. I read all kinds of books and watch all kinds of movies too, but I don’t like science fiction. I didn’t even like the Twilight Zone and the Outer Limits when I was a kid, and when I grew older, I wasn’t into Star Trek or Star Wars either. However, when I was in the Marine Corps one of my friends convinced me to read a science fiction novel called “Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert A. Heinlein. I didn’t like it, but I never forgot it. The reason I never forgot it is because that book explained to me what love is. 

Now, that’s a STRONG statement. You can ask a hundred people to explain what love is and I promise you will get a hundred different answers. We want to love and be loved. We write books, poetry, songs,and plays about it. We use it as a prerequisite for marriage. We use it as a synonym for sex and jealousy and passion and lust. But we can’t define it, and struggle to describe it. But, not me. I can tell you exactly what love is, because I read a science fiction book that I didn’t really want to read.

The book is about a Martian named Valentine Smith. Yes, that’s what I said! I can see some of you smiling. The more cynical of you are saying “WTF!!!” But it’s a novel ok? Valentine is actually a human. He was born on a spaceship that was on its way to Mars. When the expedition got there they lost contact with the earth. Valentine was the only survivor and was raised by the Martians. About twenty years later another expedition from earth arrived on Mars, and when they left to return to Earth, the Martians sent Valentine back with them.

Valentine had to learn everything about the Earth and the culture of its peoples. He was incredibly inquisitive and asked endless questions about everything. Eventually he asked the question, “What is love?” The answer was one I would never forget.

“Love is that condition, when the happiness of another is essential to your own.”

That is what happens when I have truly loved. It is impossible to be happy when you know that someone else that you love is unhappy. You want to do whatever you can to assist them. You worry until their unhappiness is remedied.  You feel their pain. That is how a parent feels about a child. That is how people having sex that love each other feel, one is not happy if the other is not. That is the empathy between siblings. That is how we feel when we love our pets. If they are not happy, neither are we.

One of the most beautiful love stories I have ever seen is “Forrest Gump”. Forrest loved Jenny. When Jenny was happy, Forrest was happy. He thought she was beautiful and kind, but he knew she wasn’t perfect. If letting her go her own way made her happy, he was willing to do that. If being with another man made her happy, he would accept that. If someone else made her unhappy, he was there to protect her. If forgiving her, accepting her, and taking care of her was what she needed, he would do that as well. 

Sometimes, we are not fortunate enough to have the person that we love feel the same way toward us. Jenny did not love Forrest the way he loved her. But to love another person is its own reward. Jenny was not the only person Forrest loved in that movie. He seemed to love everyone, and in the end, he enjoyed a happier and more fulfilling life than everybody else.

As Forrest said;

“I’m not…a smart man…but I know….what love…is”

Me too.