Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

The President of the United States believes that it would be a really good idea if all of America’s police were provided body cameras and were required to use them. I do too. I suspect that many Americans are beginning to feel the same way. During the past year there have been numerous episodes of police misconduct that was captured on cell phone video, or by cameras being used by the police officers themselves, that have profoundly changed the tone of the conversation when it comes to how the nation’s police often act when dealing with minority citizens. This video evidence, appalling and disgusting as it often is, does not surprise me, nor does it surprise most African Americans. Most of us have seen this type of behavior. Some of us have experienced it personally. We have reported it, and complained about it. Many white people however, found the stories hard to believe. When faced with believing us or the trained police officers that had sworn an oath to protect and serve, well, we lost. Besides, the police did not act like that with them.

But, during this past year, a change occurred. Something is happening in the minds of many white Americans. It is hard to dispute what we see with our own eyes, what we hear with our own ears. Let’s go to the video tape;

On July 19, 2015, a Cincinnati police officer shot and killed Samuel Dubose in the head while he was sitting in his car. Mr. Dubose was not obstinate or belligerent, he was not threatening. He was stopped for not having a license tag on the front of his car. America and the world saw and heard it all, thanks to the officer's body cam.

On July 10, 2015, a Texas State Trooper stopped Sandra Bland. Her mistake was changing lanes without turning on her turn signal. The trooper got angry when she refused to put out a cigarette, threatened her with a stun gun, ordered her out of the car, wrestled her to the ground, handcuffed her and took her to jail. A few days later she was found dead in her jail cell. The officer’s dash-cam and a bystander’s cell phone recorded it all.

On June 5, 2015, McKinney, Texas police were called to a pool party attended by Black teenagers in a gated community. Cell phone video captured one of the police officers pointing a gun at several of the teenagers before grabbing a Black girl in a bathing suit, tackling her, and shoving her face into the ground.

On April 12, 2015, cell phone video allowed the world to see Freddie Gray being arrested and dragged into a Baltimore police van. He was in obvious pain. His legs were not moving. He would die of a spinal injury a week later after being tossed around without a seat belt in that van before arriving at the police station.

On April 4, 2015, in North Charleston, South Carolina, a bystander with a cell phone recorded video of a white police officer shooting Walter L. Scott eight times in the back as he ran away. Scott was not a suspect in any crime. He was unarmed. He had been pulled over for a traffic violation. He died on the scene.

On November 22, 2014, In Cleveland, Ohio, 12 year old Tamir Rice was playing with a toy gun in a public park. A white police officer arrived, got out of his cruiser and immediately shot the Black boy twice from point blank range, killing him. Surveillance video captured it all.

On August 9, 2014, in Ferguson, Missouri, cell phone video shows Michael Brown, an 18 year old Black teenager lying in the middle of the street for hours after he was shot and killed by a white police officer. He was unarmed.

On July 17, 2014, in Staten Island, New York, several police officers tried to arrest Eric Garner for selling illegal cigarettes. Mr. Garner was wrestled to the ground, placed in a chokehold, and strangled to death. A friend’s cell phone recorded it all.

It would be foolish for anyone to think that these types of crimes only began in the last two years. What is different today is that we now have the ways and means not only to record these atrocities, but to independently broadcast the evidence to the world ourselves. A police officer can falsify an official report of an arrest and a suspect being killed in the process, but actual video and audio of the actual events cannot be disputed. That is the brilliance in what the President wants to do.

Obviously, he could never say it, but I am confident that as a Black man from Chicago, and with the intellectual prowess that he possesses, President Obama doesn’t trust the police any more than the average Black person. Of course, the question, as always, is what are you going to do about it?

Mandatory video just might be the answer.

On December 20, 1964, Fannie Lou Hamer delivered a speech at the Williams Institutional CME Church in Harlem, New York. During that speech, she said the following;

“…..Quit saying that we are free in America when I know we are not free. You are not free in Harlem. The people are not free in Chicago, because I’ve been there too. They are not free in Philadelphia, because I’ve been there too. And when you get it over with all the way around, some of the places is a Mississippi in disguise. And we want a change…..” “For three hundred years, we’ve given them time. And I’ve been tired so long, now I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, and we want a change.”

I’m sick and tired, of being sick and tired.   

The Sin of Doubt

I hope that to sometimes doubt the teachings of world religions is a pardonable sin. I am inclined to believe it is. If by chance it isn’t, all of us are doomed to eternal damnation. Too often I am overwhelmed with doubt when I think of the pain and suffering so many people all over the world endure each day. Too often I doubt that anything can or will be done about it. There are times when the grief from the loss of a loved one is incredibly painful, and the temptation to wonder if the salvation that we read about, and the resurrection the preachers preach about is really, really there. Over and over again, I have retreated to my reservoir of faith, and yes, I have wondered if someday I will go there and find it empty.

Who among us have not wondered if God is really there? Surely, at least once in your life, you have wondered if the atheists are right, and all that we behold is some kind of crazy cosmic coincidence. Did somebody make it all up to explain the unexplainable? Do we need religion to maintain our mental health when those we love die? Do we need it to justify and enforce our preferred standards of social and moral conduct?

I recently read a book called “Who’s Who in the Bible”. It was produced by National Geographic and is a beautiful, leather-bound volume that is the best explanation of what is going on in the bible that I have ever seen. It explains the events chronologically, provides excellent maps to pinpoint geographically where events took place, provides biographical information for major characters, and provides a historical context that allows the reader to understand the culture of the times in which the events took place. I have been going to church since the day I was born. Despite all of the sermons, bible studies, prayer meetings, and casual discussions with friends, I was never aware of the tales of violence, sex, deception, indiscretion, conniving, conspiracy, and outright evil-doing that can be found throughout this incredible book. The reality is that the people depicted in the bible were very similar to us. They had similar fears and desires, the same vices and virtues, they lived and they died, loved and fought wars, just as we do. They too, had their doubts.

Samuel Johnson once said that “Courage is the greatest of all virtues, because if you haven’t courage, you may not have an opportunity to use any of the others.” It takes great courage to have faith in God when you are consumed by grief. Only courage brings one back from the precipice of surrender. It takes courage to recover from a broken heart. Courage allows us to march on when faced with fear and despair.

What I have come to realize is that faith cannot erase all doubt. Perhaps it is a good thing that it does not. Most educators would agree that doubt is the foundation of inquiry, which is the foundation of learning. On the other hand, ignorance is fed by certainty, and that very lack of doubt creates the intolerance that causes so many of the problems in our modern society.

One of the questions that I have struggled with for most of my life remains unanswered. I have always wondered if Christianity is the only pathway to salvation, to resurrection, to heaven…. Then what happened to all of the good people that lived and died before the birth of Jesus Christ? What about all of the people that lived and died on the other side of the world and were not aware of the Christian movement at all? What about the countless good people of the world that are and were faithful practitioners of other religions?

As Jesus was being crucified on the Cross, he is believed to have cried out in anguish, “My God, My God, why has thou forsaken me?” I have always wondered if Jesus himself had doubt. Why didn’t he smile? Why didn’t he calmly anticipate the heavenly reward he was surely due for the life he had led on earth?

If doubt is a sin, I am guilty.  

But who among us can legitimately claim to understand it all? If our intellect is finite, how can it hope to comprehend the infinitesimal? Every time I find myself attending the funeral of someone I love, I search for comfort in the mysticism of it all.

Now, I realize that I really don’t have to figure it out. I will find out soon enough.