Aretha Franklin, Queen of Soul

Aretha and I have a relationship. She has been there for me, been there with me, for my entire life. I loved Aretha, but not in a romantic way.

Aretha had an uncanny physical resemblance to my sister, which made it impossible for me to think of her in sexual terms. I reserved those feelings for her sister Carolyn, who sang back-up for her. What I loved about Aretha was her style, her playfulness, her sense of humor. I loved her songs, and the way she sang them. But more than anything else, I loved her voice, that amazing, powerful, beautiful sound that she created from within. Nobody. Nobody could sing like Aretha.

I was not surprised when I heard that Aretha died today. It was common knowledge that her condition was grave, her family was present, and her death was imminent. I thought I was prepared for it. But when I saw her standing on the portico of the nation’s Capital, dressed like my mother dressed on Sunday mornings, singing “My Country Tis of Thee” as only she could and would, my heart began to ache. As I saw President Obama sitting behind her waiting to be sworn in as President of the United States, and the incredible throng of people crowded into the National Mall for as far as the eye could see, I could feel my emotions as they rose from the pit of my stomach, rising inexorably through my chest, my throat, searching for an outlet through my quickly moistening eyes. I knew what would happen next, but I did not want to cry, so I quickly turned the television off.

I knew that there were other ways to remember Aretha, so I reached for my phone and went straight to the playlist called simply “Aretha”. That playlist has 28 of my all-time favorite Aretha Franklin songs, and I turned it on… loud, clear, and strong. The first song to play was “Dr. Feelgood”, and my God, she sounded so good.

As I sat and listened, it felt as if I was experiencing a mosaic of my life. “Ain’t No Way” recalled a love affair gone wrong. I remembered walking to the record store after saving my lunch money for a week, so I could buy “Chain of Fools” for 98 cents. “Rock Steady” brought back the parties. “You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman” reminded me of Carole King, my friends in the Marine Corps, and my realization that white people could write beautiful, soulful songs too. “Until You Come Back to Me” made me think of Stevie Wonder. “If Ever a Love There Was” made me think of Levi Stubbs, the late, great lead singer for the Four Tops. This was the first duet that I heard Aretha do, and it is filled with the love and admiration they had for each other. “Oh, Me Oh My (I’m A Fool For You)” … took me back to college at Auburn. “Bridge Over Troubled Water”, “Call Me”, “Day Dreaming”. The songs and the memories just kept coming. For a while, it was comforting. There were times when I found myself smiling. My thoughts were almost centered on how fortunate I was to have shared this life with such a prodigious talent.

But then I heard Aretha say;

“I got a call the other day
It was my sister, Carolyn, sayin
Aretha, come by when you can
I've got somethin' that I want to say
And when I got there she said
You know rather than go through a long drawn out thing,
I think the melody on the box, will help me explain”

The song is called “Angel”. Out of all the Aretha Franklin songs that I love so much, this one is my favorite.

As Aretha began to sing;

“Gotta find me an angel, to fly away with me …”

The emotion came flooding back. I stopped thinking about my life and started thinking about hers. I started to wonder about the joy and pain that all of us endure. I thought about her family, her allegiance to the church, and wondered if she found comfort there. I remembered her triumphs, and the countless awards and accolades she received during her life. I thought about the relentless scourge we call pancreatic cancer and wondered how the knowledge of what she would be forced to endure affected her mentally.

I will never know the answer to any of these things, but I do pray that Aretha found peace and happiness then, as I am sure she has found those things now. I feel this way because I love her. And love, is when the happiness of another, is essential to your own.

Aretha made my life better. Aretha made the world better.

Her job is done. May God Bless her forever.